WHAT'S GOING ON HERE

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE.....

2006-06-02T07:59:00.000-04:00

I just couldn't believe this news article http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/grandparents-charged-with-ordering-hit/n20060602062209990003?cid=2194

People are sick....Just plain sick.

Dating is hard

2005-12-13T11:21:00.000-05:00

Okay I had a date a few months back. It went well and we both like each other, but he is really busy around this time of the year so it went nowhere. We already had talked about how busy he was going to be because of his profession, and he throws himself into it. He's very committed to it. Oh well we're still friends when he get some spare time to call or when I'm able to catch him on one of my rare calls. During the time when we were planning going on our first date I had met another guy in a chat room. You know how the chat room goes.. you talk to them until you get tired of them and then delete them off your list. But this one was different. We talked and talked and talked. LOL but the biggest twist is that he didn't have a clue who the hell he was talking to, because this particular time I was under one of my alias name in the chat room. I think it was 3 and 1/2 weeks before he even got my REAL name, age, and picture.

Now I was hooked and I really like this guy, but lied to him about almost everything. I said just my luck to meet a nice gentleman and to mess it up because I lied to him thinking he was going to be one of those jerks and he's not. So it came time to tell him the truth...D day... He took it really well and actually understood why I did it. This is when he told me that he really liked me and was glad to have met me. Again the right thing to say. So sweet. It's been 3 months now and I couldn't be happier. He got back just in time for my birthday and we spent it together. It was a wonderful birthday for me. I haven't had one of those in a long time.

So dating is hard because it seems that you have to see several people at the same time just to see which one you are in tune with. I think I have found a good one and I'm keeping my finger crossed on this one. So maybe it will be more to say in a few days and months and years. Wish us hope and plenty of luck....

The Date was Great

2005-09-26T08:48:00.000-04:00

I had a wonderful time on my date. My first date in I don't know how long. We went out to dinner and had great conversation. We get along really well. Since he doesn't live around here I guided him to the store and we went back to his hotel and watch some t.v and talked. No pressure of anything. Just a nice wonderful, relaxing evening.

Oh yeah ....next day I got a call back about how much fun he had. I really like this one. He's a very interesting person. Keep your fingers cross for me.

I think I might get to see him today before he leaves to go back home. I really hope so. There will be more to tell later. I'm sure

Dating again

2005-09-22T07:49:00.000-04:00

I have a blind date on Saturday....well not actually blind because I know how he looks. It should be fun. Will give more details if all goes well.

School's Back In and Work is crazy

2005-08-22T09:11:00.000-04:00

In a week my children will be back in school. Thank Goodness!!!!!!! Between work and being with them ALLLLLLLLLLLLL day makes a Loooooooooooooong Summer, but fun sometimes. But work has been the kicker. This woman at the J.O.B just gets under my skin. I never ever felt this way about anyone, even any of my exs. I guess I just hate lazy... Why is the laziest person always worried about others. She thinks of new ways to get out of doing work. Shoot that's probably the most work she does all night. Well enough of that. Maybe in time I can explain what pissed me off so much that I'm even writing about her.

Working So Much

2005-06-27T15:36:00.000-04:00

Okay I know I haven't been around, because I've been working so much. My kids are out of school except for two that are doing extra reading and math intervention classes. ( summer school) I am working 6 to 7 days a week. So between work and sleep I haven't had time to do much of anything. Last week the kids and I were able to get away for a couple of days. We went to King's Island and had a blast. My daughter won a cell phone ( which I will have to pay for) and me ( the old woman) won an "old school" tournament by getting the highest score on Ms. Pac Man. (44,100). I know I know it's not much of a high score, but I am older now. LOL In my younger days I could have done at least 100,000. But it still made me proud to win over all the little kids, even my son who was trying so hard. :-) Well I won a game controller and a beauty pack. Out of the whole time at King's Island my oldest son sent more 75% of his time in this game room...I don't blame him though, because all the games were free. And they had the newest games. Now we are getting ready for the big 4th of July celebration. We go and see the fireworks every year.

On another note, My special guy and I decided that he has more living to do. With me being a tab bit older and already settled, it's best for him to get to a more stable surrounding. So he has decided to go to school ( which I'm totally agree with). I'm just happy he didn't decide to return back over there with the DOD. And yes that's all for my selfish reasons. I don't think I could do another year or even six months of worrying. No matter what he will always be close to my heart.

So to my next point, I started to like another person at my job, which I totally do not like to do. My job is like a school yard with rumors aways floating around. Considering this, I'm in the process of getting to know this person and I just want it to go smoothly without any problems and scandals. So wish me luck on my new found interest. Until next time. Hopefully much sooner then last.

Fifteen Years Later

2005-06-08T19:57:00.000-04:00

This day 15 years ago changed my family so much. This is a day that will always be edged in my mind as long as I live. Two days before my graduation, my brother, was found shot dead. He was working and someone robbed and killed him while he was driving his Taxi. When things like this happen you always think you could have change it after the fact. Like why did he have to go on that run or even drive that night. I remember he was having his suit clean so he could attend my graduation and instead, it was used to bury him. I don't know if people are aware of their time, but it seem as if my brother knew it would be soon. My brother never took photos. No one in the family had any pictures of him without a hand covering his face. But about a month and half before that day he was letting us take his picture. These were the first pictures we had of him in 10 years. So we were able to see how he looked before he went to his resting place. We always wonder why the good ones are taken first. And I can say my brother was a good. Always willing to help others and he was always there for me. He was so smart. At the time of his death he was working two jobs and putting himself through school. The hardest part of losing him was seeing the pain on my mother and my father faces and the good that he could have shared with so many others. I love you, brother. 3/16/1961-6/8/1990

Happy Birthday MOM!!!!!!

2005-06-02T09:01:00.000-04:00

First of all I Love You and Happy Birthday. You taught me so much. You made me so strong. You told me to never give up on anything. So I sit here and think about you on your birthday. Happy Birthday Mom....Your number 10 ...the change of life baby.

Happy Mother's Day

2005-05-08T20:42:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day! Today I thought about my mother a lot. I was at work and kind of forgot about it being mother day even though I'm a mother. It just didn't mean too much to me this year. I don't know why but I just didn't think too much about it. So I was at work, talking to a couple of my supervisors when one of them mention should I sleep in or drive to see my mother. He was deciding if he should go by saying see my mother- sleep in. My mind went blink, because at that point I realize that it was mother day and what I would give to see my mother again. I just couldn't believe that he was debating on seeing his mother on Mother's Day.

My mother have been gone for almost 10 years now. At first it was very hard to talk about her without crying. After the years it gets a little better to talk about her and remember the good things and the fun we had together. I credit my mother with so much. She taught me to be strong and to never give up. And the most important thing that she taught me was to depend on no one (especially a man). My mother was a very strong woman. She was born in the time when women had no power and had to depend on men, but not my mother. She left her state and moved to another state after her husband didn't do right by her. She took my two sister and left. This was in the 50's and not too many women would do things like that at that time.

My mother was very outspoken. If something was on her mind believe me she said it. Now I have so much of my mother in me but I'm also very blessed to have a lot of my dad in me too. It keep me from saying the first thing that comes to mind. Actually just calm me down enough to think things over. I was my mother's baby. She always called me her change of life baby. I spent a lot of time with my mother and we were really close. She shared a lot of family recipes with me. I know she felt like I was a lot like her. And today I know I am.

It's so funny that I look at my children and I know which one is exactly like me. We are so much alike that our personality always crashes. And when he becomes an adult I will let him know how much he is like me. He hate to hear it now because he's a boy and what boy what to hear how much they are like their mother.

Two things that I always will remember:
Good thing- When I use to travel with my mom every summer to see my grandparents. We spent 12 or so hours on a greyhound bus and it would be just us two. My mother would stay awake the whole time watching the bus driver and the road. I thought of this as a way of protecting me while I slept.

Bad thing but not so bad- When I was 11 I was late coming home (my curfew was dusk) and it was dark when I made it home she snatch me in the house and told me never to do it again. And I didn't because I saw the look in her eyes. It was the look of fear and madness. Not a good combination. So the next time I even came in late I was 18 and it was about 10 minutes.

Well to everyone Happy Mother's Day and I hope everyone have a good one and at least one good memory of their mother.

So confused and disappointed

2005-05-04T10:05:00.000-04:00

Okay here it goes. As you know I've been missing for awhile. I wish that I was missing because I was spending so much time with my special guy, but no that's not the case. First of all I know and understand how quickly plans can change in the military and dates may not always be concrete. As I was told by my special guy that the last time I talked to him he was in Kuwait awaiting to return to the States. Okay he arrived at his base March 23 and as he told me before that he would be there for two weeks and then he would have a month of leave. Okay that was fine and his actual leave started April 6. At this point I was still calm and waiting for a call to set up something. Now, I know that he has to see his family (mom, dad, and sister) because he hasn't seen them either. So I continue to wait until he completed that. So I had an opportunity to talk to his friend on April 11 who is still on the base. He told me that he saw him earlier in the week and that he was home.

Okay he's home, but I haven't heard a word from him. I was on vacation and was ready to cook him his homemade meal he wanted. And the other plan we (I) had to go out of town together. But again I haven't heard from him. Why? I just don't know. We have never argued. We have said so many things that was so positive that I can not believe that I would not hear from him once he return. There were no clues whatsoever that he wasn't happy with me. This is so difficult to write because I cared or still care about this person. And I just want to know WHY. I guess my only problem is he could have told me something. Even if he is scared to see me. All he had to do is tell me something. To me it's like unfinished business. The last time we talked he told me that he couldn't wait to see me and I don't know what happen between then and now. But for some reason I haven't heard from him.

I guess I was wishing for a fantasy or dream to come true. I met a very sweet guy. And I thought that once he got home everything would fall into place. Even if we just remained friends. I feel as if I given him so much of me and just all the worry I had for him while he was there. This is a person that I have converse with for over a year and wrote so many things to him in letters. And someone that I had talk to in his time of need and in the most stressful situations. I don't regret being there for him. I just feel he took so much of me and haven't given it back. I don't know why but I really do feel like I will be hearing from him again.

I've talked to some of my family members about it and they express to me that maybe he's dealing with a lot of emotional stuff and just give him time to sort himself out. They say with all the things he have seen in the last year may have effected him more then he thought. So with that in mind I try to understand and just be patience with him. But this is so disappointing and maybe I'm just being selfish. It's so hard for me to be mad at him even now because he have never given me any reason to be. So with that being said I hope and pray that he's doing okay.

Also with my blog friend sque I know you were going though your own thing and I just wasn't ready to write about my own personal heartbreak. Sorry it took so long to get back and actually write this down. I just got the guts to say it and I guess to make it official. You know how you do it, if you don't say it then maybe it's not true. Well I've done it. It's official now.

Well to everyone, please have a good week and a good rest of the year. I will write again I just don't know when. Bye for now.

My Computer Died!!!

2005-03-24T19:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've been gone for awhile because my computer was down. I couldn't pull up anything. And the worst part is that I missed my special guy a couple of times because of this. My oldest son managed to do something to mess up my computer while I was in the middle of paying for my EXTENDED WARRANTY. So I had to wait until that posted to my account before I could even get ANY help with the situation. Now I'm back. I haven't done much but work and watched March Madness....Me BIG basketball fan(college basketball). Well my vacation starts tomorrow and I was planning on flying (which I'm scared to death to do) to Texas to see my special guy IF he made it back to the States. But since I haven't heard from him I don't know if that will be possible. So I might have to wait until the 5th of April (which isn't far away) for him to return to Ohio. Hopefully that still the date and that it haven't changed but who knows.

The kids have been going through this one be one 24 hours virus that is messing up their system completely. Now Spring Break is upon us, so I keep telling them how do you get sick when you're going on vacation. That's the breaks. I'm getting so excited because I know he will be here soon. I've been floating on air I'm so happy. Oh well not much to say. It seems as when I couldn't get on the computer I had so much to say and sooooo much was coming out of my mouth and of course most of it was bad...:-) Oh well until next time. Good News Soon.... I guess this is a late ST. Patrick's Day post. Easter post will be sometime in April....LOL

HOMECOMING ISN'T LONG NOW!!!!

2005-03-13T07:05:00.000-05:00

I just got word that my special guy is in Kuwait. It was so nice to talk to him yesterday and to know that he will be home in two weeks......I think. Well hopefully it will be less then two weeks he's not sure, but to know he's in Kuwait is putting all kind of smiles on my face. He made my day so much brighter that I went to work happy for once. I was even in a good mood to train a new employee. I can say no one has made me feel this way in a long, long, looooooooooooong, time. Well I just got off work and is extremely tired so I'm going to crash and dream about my special guy. Until my next encounter. Hopefully it will be face to face. :-)

Sitting here worried

2005-02-28T01:25:00.000-05:00

I do a lot of reading about Iraq and what's going on there. Okay I was all fine and was just getting really happy because I know my special guy would be home in 30 days or so. Well the exciting article was that his division was handing power over to the new unit Sunday. Now this is what's bothering me because I read that someone from his unit was killed and several others were wounded. So I'm here biting nails and hoping and praying that he's okay. The weirdest thing is that, I don't know if he's hurt or not, but for some reason I was having these thoughts that he might get hurt since it's so close for him to come home. And the article read "a roadside bomb struck a patrol on what was to be one of the last combat missions." The worst part is the not knowing and the waiting. Well I hope to hear from him soon, because he do know that I read a lot and he tries not to have me worry. So when things do happen, I must say, he do get in touch with me to let me know he's alright. I really do love this man. Other then the fact that I'm worried sick I did have a pretty good weekend. The kids and I are finally over the flu. The house is very lively again. And I traveled all over town just to buy a deep freezer yesterday. I only had to go to about 5 stores before I found what I wanted and of course it was the floor model because they didn't have any in stock either. Well have a good one and until next time.

MY WISH

2005-02-18T05:39:00.000-05:00

Well I got my wish. I finally got a chance to talk to my special guy. I can say that being sick has a silver lining and that I was at home and not at work when he got online. I miss him so much. He's just very busy, which I knew, but it's just so hard not talking to him. He's just so tired and ready to come home. He told me that he was sick and may have the flu too. Just our luck. Well this is short and I'm feeling a little better knowing he's okay. I'm counting the days.

THE FLU

2005-02-16T14:23:00.000-05:00

Well I thought my little 3 year old was getting better, but know he wasn't it got worse. Sorry about the words, but he was vomiting everything he ate even the 7-up that I've given him. So we had a doctor's appointment today and it confirmed that he (we) have the flu. I diagnose myself with the flu, with all the aches that my bones are feeling. And it would be ridicules for me to schedule an appointment with my doctor, considering they can't do anything with it except let it run it course. Well I need my rest so I'm off to bed and depending on how I'm feeling tonight, we'll see if I can make it into work. Remember my job, no matter the weather. Good night everyone and I hope you are doing better then what my family and I are doing.

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T08:31:00.000-05:00

Oh man it's Valentine's day and I still haven't heard a thing. It's been a whole 2 months. I can say this have been the longest time I have went without talking to him since he's been in Iraq. Keeping my fingers cross maybe I will hear from him today. If not, it's okay too, but it's just so hard not hearing from him, because he has spoiled me soo much. All I can do is keep saying he'll be home in a month. He'll be home in a MONTH.

Okay on to the next order of business. My children have me out of sync because of them being sick. It all started Friday. My 1st grader had a fever right before school. Considering it was party day of course he didn't want to miss school. So I gave him some medicine and stopped the fever and sent him on his way. He made it through the whole day of school and came home and crashed. Now since I was getting over my sickness from earlier in the week while still working my body was ran down so I slept a lot this week. Now right before I was about to leave for work what would happen. My daughter, the 5 year old ,started to vomit. So I let her finish and got her to sleep and I had decided to go in late but just at that time my 3 year old woke up and started to vomit. At that point I knew it was going to be a LOOOOOOOOOOONG weekend. So I was up most of the night with two children running a fever and throwing up.

Saturday- I'm thinking it could be a 24 hours virus or something. Then my 2 year old was running a fever now. That's the worst part about living with sick people everyone usually get the same cold or virus. That's how I got the chicken pox 8 years ago at 25, because of the kids. And I tell you I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. So this weekend I have been dealing with 3 sick kids. The 1st grader is feeling much better and he's off to school now.

Sunday- Really didn't do anything, but tried to rest up. I watched a couple of NBA games in between sleep and giving the children tylenol. I ended up watching the Grammys. And that's how my weekend went. Nothing very exciting going on here.

Well maybe I'll have some better news SOON..... I hope and pray.
Well everyone I hope you all have a nice Valentine's Day. Even if mines isn't the best this year I have next year to look forward to a better one. Until next time.

Me Me Time

2005-02-08T03:20:00.000-05:00

Okay this is something sque had me do...

1. Song that sounds like happy feels

Don't worry be happy- Bobby McFerrin
I want to be rich- Calloway

2. Earliest memory

Don't go breaking my heart- Elton John and Kiki Dee

3. Last CD you bought

Jesse McCartney- I really like the song beautiful soul

4. Remind you of school

Elementary- Grease Soundtrack
I watched that movie everyday and I had and still have the biggest crush on John Travolta.

Kiss also played a big part at that time. On Halloween I remember being dressed up in one of those plastic Kiss faces.

Middle School- Michael Jackson anything back then. Culture Club, Tina Marie out on a limb, Whitney Houston you give good love, New Edition Candy girl and Cool it now

My friends Jennifer, Tammie, and Donnie made up a group called the Zig Zag because of how we were seated in Algerbra Class.

High School- Rock me Amadeus- Falco, We will rock you- Queen, She got legs- ZZ top,
Pleasure Principle and What have you done for me lately- Janet Jackson, and Can you stand the rain- New Edition. I was breaking up with my first love. It was terrible.

I did College late so wasn't really into all the partying stuff at that time.

5. Total music files on your PC
None- never set it up and haven't allowed the children to put anything on there either.

6. Song for listening to repeatedly when depressed
New Edition- Is this the End
Bette Midler- The Rose
Leann Rimes- Life goes on

7. Song that sounds British, but isn't
Love is a battlefield- Pat Benatar
Take on me- A ha

8. Song you love, band you hate
Wannabe, Spice Girls- this was the toughest to think of, but after the long process this is who I came up with. LOL

9. A favorite song from the past that took ages to track down.
Feel so good- Midnight Star

10. Bought the album for one good song
When it's over- Sugar Ray- plus I think the lead singer Mark McGrath is cute. :-P

11. Worst song to get stuck in your head
The Braney Song- My kids sing it all the time

12. Best song to dump a beer on someone's head to, then storm out the bar
Okay for one I'm not a drinker and don't really go to bars to even think about dumping beer on someones, but if I did I would have to say Destiny Child- Survivor

13. Who should do this next
Okay good question, since I don't have many people that I know read my Blog ...I guess who ever that actually read this can feel free to do it and I must say it was rather fun thinking of all the memories of some of these songs. So go for it. And sque it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be

The 2nd month of 2005 and the shortest one

2005-02-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

It's February already. One more month to go and my guy should be out of Iraq. I still haven't heard anything, but I guess with all the moving and getting things packed up to leave and still doing his job I know he just don't have the time. Yesterday I sent my last letter, because I read somewhere that we shouldn't send anymore packages or mail after the first of February because they will be leaving soon and might not receive it. I sent my Valentine Cards last week so he should have them by time Valentine's Day. ( At least I hope)

The van has been acting up again. At least it happen when I actually have money to fix it. But the good thing about it is that I need a tune up. You know income tax season. I tell you everytime I go in to have my taxes done for the rapid refund, I always have mines prepared and it never fail that the tax office offer me a job. LOL it's so cute that this is the 4th year that this happen. And at different offices. It feels so good to be wanted.

Now work, this is what I call the 30 day test. Meaning I can't be late or miss a day in a month unless further action will be used against me. yadayadayada Why do I say that, because it never fails that at this time of year when we received our vacation time they give everyone this annual talked. The next one will be in September like every year. So I'm on my best behavior. You would think they would be off my back after working the month of December with only 2 days off for the whole month. What's even funnier is that they gave me a gift certificate for showing up for work when we had an advisory warning (level 3), then discipline me 4 days later on my attendance. Okay gotta be good girl now. So now it's even more important to make sure my van is running okay.

The Kids, well after working so hard the month of December, my children did have a good Christmas and I didn't get back up on bills. I'm all caught up and my income tax is for them and me and of course some went into savings. So a couple weeks ago I took them out to the store and brought them some clothes and stuff . Let's just say everyone was very very happy and that's including me. At least I only got clothes for them (something they always need) because I would have been very upset to buy something they wanted and then got those report cards.

Oh well I will try to post more, but it's always a challenge in my house. Just writing this post I've been called mommy about 50 times and at least been pulled on my arm about 20 times and I'm happy to say I managed to finish. Oh I forgot the 30 times I had to say sat down and wait just a minute. WHOA. Until the next adventure.

It's been awhile

2005-01-25T14:48:00.000-05:00

Okay let's try this again. I had started a post and lost it all. I know it's been awhile since my last post and I can't say that I've been really busy. Well yes a little busy, but only because I've been reading other blogs and meeting more people. I've been in a rut as of late. Reason being is that I haven't heard from my guy and I was so hoping to hear from him sometime this New Year. But I do know that with everything that's going on over there that he's very busy. I have one thing going for me he'll be home soon. I just wish that after this election that everyone could be going home. I was talking to my little bro (he knows who he is) and thanks so much for the pick me up last night. Maybe I'll eat some ice cream....LOL Oh well my kids got their second quarter report cards. Can you believe that the school year is half way over. Well looking at the reports cards I know my oldest wish it was over now. He did get every credit for each class, but he's still on punishment. The big one is the g/f thing. His father and I had discuss that if his grades didn't stay up then no g/f. Now I know that's hard to do after all he is a teenager. And since his grade point average is too low, even though he passed every class and got credit for them, he will not be able to ran track this year. I always told him grade before sports.

On one good note my daughter had straight A's and one C in Language Art.. She turned in a project late, because she accidentally left it at home. I'm so proud of her. She works really hard and also help me out a lot. My fifth grader is back to his old tricks again. His behavior is still good, but he's rushing through his assignments. The third and first grader grades remained the same and improving. Just in the middle of this post I just got a phone call telling me I need to report to work tonight on my day off. So I guess I will not have my two days off this week.

It's been really cold here. And the van is doing it's thing again and acting up. Well I don't have too much to say. So I'm closing now before I lose this one. And I hope I hear something real soon.

And also I would like to thank Sque for the nice comment. I don't get many of those so I was quite shocked to see a number 1 in my comment slot.

Ice Frozen and in the Dark

2004-12-27T07:33:00.000-05:00

I'm catching up a bit. This was last week when I got off work and was told we were under a level 3 advisory which mean I wouldn't be able to drive home...Well we don't suppose to drive. But by time I was ready to leave work they upgraded it to a level 2. After taking the long hike to my car in the parking lot in frigid weather. I came upon my car with about an inch of frozen ice on my entire car. So I get in and start it and try to melt the ice and get out and with my scraper and try to beat it off. This goes on for 30 or so minutes so I get back to warm up a bit with ice still on the windows when all of sudden the sky lit up to a bright blue....it kind of looked like lightening, it was too cold for it to be that then I saw it again. It was very hard to see it through all the ice and then I got to thinking that maybe I'm just tired. Well come to found out that light was transmitters blowing up all over town.

I finally got all the ice off the window and was ready to roll. I pull out the parking lot taking my regular way home when I came to a stop sign where I would go to get to the major street when I notice a semi truck backing up on this street full of snow. It didn't even cross my mind that maybe I needed to take a different route...but no I turned anyway and notice nothing was moving going that way and the fact that the 3 cars ahead of me decided to turn around. Well it's cold and it's snow on the road and of course I need a gas station and I just spent 30 minutes warming up the car, waiting to turn down a street that traffic wasn't moving and then turning around.

Thank goodness I made it to a gas station and it was actually open. Of course I prayed for it to be. I put my last 13 dollars in the tank because daddy always said "you need to have a full tank a gas in the winter" well the $13 made it a half of tank...LOL Now I have to get to the highway to start my mission home. I'm on the highway going about 30 mile per hour because the freeway was still bad and the snow was blowing making it very hard to see. What really pissed me off is that a car spun out in the right lane and I was in the middle lane and the car in front came to a complete stopped....mine you that the car that spun out wasn't blocking our lane, but he wanted to help that person that spun out....now I understand that but YOU CAN'T STOP ON THE FREEWAY IN SNOW AND BLOCK A LANE. So while I was behind this car, I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the other cars approaching, all I was doing was praying Please let them see my brake lights over and over again. Finally the car that came to a complete stop decided to pull over in front of the car that spun out and I was able to start moving again and no one ran into me...Thank goodness

Now I get home and try to pull into my driveway and get stuck, but I had my shovel (something else my dad told me to carry in the winter) so I got out and shovel near my tire. I was still having problems and finally my neighbor came and gave me a push and I was in. I get out and thanked him. Now this is an hour and half after a got off work. I got out of my van when my other neighbor told me that the electric is out and has been for some time. I'm so tired now. Well at least the kids wasn't home they were still over my dad's because I was suppose to use that time to wrapped their gifts and now I have no electricity. NO computer, No phone, and No heat and Christmas is two days away. I have cordless phones so when the electric is out they are out...so I had to search and find my regular phone..... OH my I have a phone and called my dad and told him what happen and he told me to come over there because I didn't have any heat. I told him I would be find and I would be over after I got some sleep. It really wasn't that cold in the house. But really I didn't want to go back out in that mess again so soon.

Now I get some needed rest and get my stuff together to go over my dad. It gets dark at about 5 now so I wanted to get out of the house and get my things while I could still see. My friend which lives down the way called and woke me up and said she was going to be at her sister's...point being she was coming home to pick up some stuff to cook over there. So I hop in the van and on my journey to my dad's when I get stuck again in the snow. I get out shovel some more drive and rock back and forth and then again out to shovel. Finally I'm unstuck. I'm driving down the street and get to the main road when I notice my car is going in the red and saying it over heating....get this it's only 20 degrees outside and my car is running heat....something wrong. I called my friend on her cell and she was right behind me and I told her what was going on and I told her where I was going to stop. I checked under the hood and notice my belt was off. So my very good friend (thanks Buff) drove me to my dad house. On the way there in two separate incidents we saw cars turned upside down and off the road.

I just couldn't believe this was happening. Well my brother and I went back out to get my van later that night but with no success. So he end up taking me to work and I asked another friend if he could give me a ride to my dad when we got off and he did....he lives around the corner from my dad. Friday....another day at my dad. My niece came over and cooked the holiday dinner mainly because her lights were out too. When my brother got off work we went back to work on the car and we GOT IT. So I had to get to work but before I went in I stopped by my house and the lights were on. Hooray

I went to work Christmas Eve....Oh yeah this is my daughter birthday...she turned 13. It was a very slow relaxing night. So when I got off work Christmas day I still haven't wrapped the gifts and I was debating on it but ended up wrapping them anyway. And I'm glad I did because they were very happy when I picked them up from my dad to bring them home and they saw the presents under tree. Even though it started out rough we actually did have a very nice Christmas. Boy this was a mouth full. Well until next time.

Short and Sweet

2004-12-20T20:17:00.000-05:00

Well I don't have long, but I got to talk to my special guy yesterday. He got his package that I sent over there. And it was really great to know he got it before Christmas. Oh how I love that man. Well I'm still putting in the long hours and longer days at work. It was so funny yesterday that LOL when he popped up on the IM I was in a dead sleep and as soon as my daughter said he was online I jumped straight up. I couldn't even see the screen, but I got myself compose and turned on the cam for him which is always a pleasure for him. He is such a wonderful man. With that being said until the next time. OH and everyone please try to have a wonderful and safe holiday. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And I hope the next year coming will be better then the last.

The Holidays are Here

2004-12-08T11:45:00.000-05:00

First I want to start by saying my sister is doing much better. When I went to see here last Friday she was off the breathing machine and talking, which is a good sign for her, because she never stop talking. She went home Monday, but we still don't have any understanding what went wrong with her.

Monday I started my Christmas shopping for the kids. I should be done by next week for sure. There isn't too much on the list to get this year. Which is good for me. The stores were a mad house when I went on Monday. I guess I'm going to have to do my shopping in the early mornings hours so I don't have to deal with all the fuss. I'm very impatience when it comes to waiting in line. Well at least I got the shopping started. I'm not sure if I'm cooking Christmas dinner or just going to my dad's house. Considering that I will be working on all through the holidays....I know you are saying everything is usually close on Christmas ....Oh well not my job. We never closed 24/7/365 LOL and no it's not the military. Even though at times it feel like it. They treat us like machines and robots. I know yesterday was my last day off until after the New Year so I had some time and caught up on some reading and found a web site that a got from blogger sgt Lizzie. http://anysoldier.com/index.cfm which was very informational. So I got some wonderful ideas to send things to my special guy as well as others in need over there. I know the stuff that I send wouldn't make it before Christmas but at least it will get there. My special guy never ask for anything but is very thankful for what ever I send. He always tells me he's fine and he doesn't need anything, but me which isn't quite possible. I also read on that site of a soldier (Sgt. Joemer C. Canlas) that says he never gets mail. So I'm going to start like a pen pal with him and have my older children write letters and have my younger ones draw pictures. His entry just brought tears to my eyes. All he ask for is mail. With all the time I will be putting into work I should be able to write plenty of letters to him on my breaks.

And being on the net and reading all these blogs I have made a few friends. The one that I actually have frequents conversation with is my friend Colin. He's sooo cool and such a teddy bear at heart...don't tell him I said that. He's kind of on my schedule because of his time zone. Right now his time zone is 14 hours ahead of mines. So during the day when I'm at home he's just getting off work and if I'm up we talk.

Well I'm in the process of putting up the tree and I hope to have everything done by this weekend... not the presents being wrapped but the decorations and stuff. So I'm off here until I feel the need to write again.

What an extra surprise

2004-12-03T07:14:00.000-05:00

This will be short and sweet. Yesterday I was able to talk to my special guy AGAIN. This it the first time in months I was able to talk to him twice in a seven day span. I was able to make it up to him for last week when I didn't turn on my cam because of my shyness, but I made it up to him yesterday by turning it on. He was so happy to see me. And I was so happy to talk to him again. Maybe he'll stay were he's at now for a little while longer because he has better access to the computer there. Well it was a long night at work and I'm very tired so I'm going to bed as soon as I get the children out the house. ( to school) 2 down and 3 to go.

Bittersweet Thanksgiving

2004-11-30T21:08:00.000-05:00

Last week would have been the typical family Thanksgiving gathering but this year was I a little different. Now, we usually gather at my dad's and we kind of all meet up there. My dad had everything cooked except the turkey because that was my part and another desert that I make. Well they didn't get the bananas pudding this year. After I got the turkey together and put on, I decided to rest when the phone call came in that my sister was in the hospital. Now that wasn't the shock because she sometime have some mishaps. But this was serious because she was in the ICU. So now my dad was worried as well as me. I went to the hospital and talked to the doctor when he told me he had no clue what was going on with my sister and said her body just shut down. At this point she was on a breathing machine and not breathing on her own because her lungs were having trouble. This doesn't really help because she's a heavy smoker. I'm talking your 2 pack a day woman. I didn't make it in time to see her then because the visiting hours were over even though the doctor said I could go back but I just couldn't get myself to go in there just yet. I visited her the next day though and she didn't look good at all. My other sister went up there over the weekend and got a better report from the doctor. She was now alert but very sedated still. The doctor told her that her body needed to rest and they expect her to make a full recovery. Our family have been through so much and when I actually put it in my mind what would happen if she was gone and it really scared me. I just never thought about that and it really came to light this past week.

Well on a good note, I got to talk to my special guy this past weekend. I even got to see him on the web cam. He just got back from the deadly area of Fallujah. I was so glad to see him safe and well. We wasn't able to talk long and I have no clue how long he'll be where he's at now. Just knowing that he's okay after knowing where he was makes me feel a little at ease. Not that anywhere he's at is safe. It's just the fact that he's not in the combat area knowing he's fighting and anything can happen. It was so good to see him. He even sounded more like himself this time. Last time we chatted, knowing he had so much on his mind, he just wasn't himself.

We are in December already and I haven't even started Christmas shopping. Last year at this time I was completely done with my shopping. I did put a care package together for my guy and will be sending it tomorrow. I hope he gets it before Christmas. The best part of it being December is that he only have four more months to go if they don't extend his time. 126 more days to go. The count is on.

blah blah blah

2004-11-15T19:02:00.000-05:00

Well last week I turned 33. Of course when you get older it really don't matter too much about your birthday, to me it was getting my tags and licenses renewed. Which cost $88 now since the governor decided to raised the price last year. Can you imagine it being your birthday and you have to put out almost 100 dollars. Well considering that my birthday fell a day before Veteran's Day I will always be able to have my birthday off. I haven't heard from my special guy and today I found out that another person from his unit was killed Saturday which makes me very worried. I'm still praying for their safe return.

Couple of weeks ago I had parent/teacher/student conferences which went very well. My daughter the 7th grader received straight A's again this first nine weeks. I'm so proud of her. What do a teacher say to a parent when their child is getting straight A's and doesn't have any discipline problems?.. NOTHING. But I went to the parent/teacher/student conference with all smiles for her. Now the boys are a different story, the fifth grader is doing much better, but of course he doesn't apply himself completely. He rushed through his work and doesn't put the time into it. His behavior is much better, it even surprised me....The teacher told me he was sooooooooooo quiet... I didn't even say a word because if that's the impression he put upon her then I'm not going to bust his bubble, that's a plus for me that he's not acting like his typical boyish self. My high schooler...aaghhh He could do so much better but again he not putting forth enough effort. We had the talk and he's doing enough just to get by and I told him that he have to take proud in himself and his work. And that his work represent the proud he has for himself. I think that turned on the light above his head. Now the 3rd grader is doing good, also could be better but I'm proud of him because he have come a long way because he has trouble with hearing sounds and his speech, but he put in so much effort that he has 2 C's and the rest B's. I know you're saying a lot of conferences and yes but still one more to go.... My 1st grader is doing good also but you know they don't receive grades that young and they can't really be graded on anything that on the progress report. It just states he's moving in the right direction.

Today is Monday night football and it's my day off and as soon as the kids are in the bed I will be able to rest and watch my team play the Eagles tonight. Until the next adventure.

an hour and half and a world away

2004-11-01T11:23:00.000-05:00

Well yesterday I finally got to hear from my special guy. We were able to talk for an hour and half which was good, because where he's going now I probably won't be able to hear from him in a while. It has been a month and a half since the last time I talked to him. He, of course, is missing me and really ready to come home. He just so tired of everything over there which I can only imagine. My prayers will be with him until he returns. When we are able to talk we never talk about what he's doing, more so to the fact I don't won't him to get cut off the computer or for him to get in trouble by saying something he don't suppose to say because he have never held anything back from me. But really I just want to keep his mind off the situation at hand. And I notice while chatting with him yesterday I had this feeling of him being kind of closed up. Like he wanted to say more but didn't want to lay it all on me. I pray he don't lose so much trust in everything. It's like before he went there he was innocent and now it's like he's been rape from all the goodness he has once known. What really pissed me off is that he's over there so far from home and I've been writing all these letters just so he knows someone is always thinking of him and he haven't received mail in a MONTH a whole damn month and he just got a ton of letters from me a couple of days ago. Well I guess one thing is good is that he did get them. But I know from personal feelings that when I didn't talk to him this past month I was starting to have doubts especially when you have friends that don't believe you can feel like this towards someone when knowing them for such a short time before he left. I know he's very busy with everything but sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and make you think of all the worst stuff...you know like he really don't care about me but that's just me being insecure. So I just wonder what he was thinking when he didn't get any mail for a month. He probably was thinking that I had forgotten about him but not really because I did send emails and a lot of offline messages. So if he had the chance to get on the computer then he would know I didn't forget about him, but if he didn't then that's would have been the worst. Well I'm so happy that we talked yesterday and it was really good. It was like a date on the computer. We listen to music together on yahoo. It was really sweet listening to love songs together. "sigh" I can't wait to have more great memories with him when he get home in 5 months. I'm counting the days. I will be praying today and everyday until him and his unit and everybody else come home safely.

crazy me, busy as usual

2004-10-22T08:27:00.000-04:00

I just got off the JOB and had to run to the store before going home. We were out of the main breakfast food items such as milk and cereals. So I made a quick stop at my friendly Wal-mart. Most of the time I'm in there for hours but I was in a rush because I had to get home so the kids could eat before school. I was running down the aisle speed shopping is what I call it. Finally made it home unloaded the car and had the kids put up the food. They have eaten and now they are finally gone to school. All that is left are the 3 little ones. I'm so hungry but don't know what I want to eat. It's 8 in the morning and I just put on some chocolate chips cookies....mmmmm good. Bad eating habit I know but it's what I want. Milk and cookies in the morning. I'm getting sleeping and will be laying down after I eat the cookies. I guess I will shared them with the littles ones....Maybe. No that's wrong I will give them some. I'm deliriously sleepy and I can feel my eyes getting heavy. Oh man I just remember, our checks didn't come in last night like they were suppose to so therefore I will have to go pick it up. Well that's going to cut into my sleep time. I have this big wedding to go tomorrow and I will still have to get my hair done before work tonight. Busy, Busy, Busy Oh and not to forget the big party I was invited to go to Saturday night and my next day off for work is Wednesday night...( 8 days straight). Also the 5 loads of clothes I have to wash before Monday. Here is my TGIF and it all consist of work and some play. Well got to go get my cookies out of the oven and get a nap in before I start this busy weekend.

don't have a clue

2004-10-19T02:10:00.000-04:00

Well it's official another month has gone by and I haven't talked to him. I know he's okay because he was able to get online for a little last week...I missed him that day. But during this time that I haven't heard from him I was able to write at least 7 or so letters. I know it's so hard for him being over there and the other day he also lost another one from his unit. And that is what scares me the most because you never know when it could be him. I wish I could be more support for him. I know he appreciate every little thing that I do which isn't much. I don't have a clue about how he's feeling and how much he's hurting. He'll never let me know that. All I know is that when he returns home I'm hoping that he haven't changed much, which I know is stupid because how could you see what you see and do what you have to do and not change. Well it's late and I should have been in bed along time ago but I was up cooking something to eat and thinking of him. So bed is calling until next time.

Sitting and waiting

2004-10-04T11:32:00.000-04:00

Today I'm sitting in front of the computer and waiting to hear from my special man. It has been two week since the last time I've heard from him. This is so rough being here and him being there ( Baghdad). I just jumped in...Let's take it back a little. This is so crazy, but this man I speak of is an army soldier, which you probably already figure out. We met 3 days before he was being deployed to Iraq and that was in March. This is the 7th month of communication and it has been so wonderful, other than the fact he's not here with me. We say time and time again how we wish we would have met sooner and actually had more time together. I started reading blogs about 2 months ago and just ran across one today that reminded me so much of our situation. We write, instant message each other, and talk on the phone whenever possible. I send him pictures all the time. I leave him little offline messages on yahoo...I don't know if he likes those or not or if I'm leaving too many but I have come to miss him so much. This is so new and weird to me. I met a perfect gentleman and very caring person. When we first met I looked at us as being just friends and me writing him to get through the rough times over there and just giving him the support he needs. But over these many months it has become more then that. I still remember the first time he told me he loved me. That put the biggest smile on my face but of course he didn't see that. (I didn't have the cam on). We had made plans to get together when he have his midtour leave, but of course that was cancel too! That would have been in September. Now it's October and he still don't have a clue when or if he will get any leave. Out of all this time we have grown so close together and this has been the best. I've have gotten to know him so well and vice versa. By collecting your thoughts and putting them into words and taking the time to write them in a letter shows so much. What I really love about him is his honesty. He's straight forward and to the point. And he is so respectful to me. I thought it was a joke to feel so close to someone when you don't meet them in the most conventional way. But it has been a refreshing feeling to know that we get along great. Out of this, I stay worried all the time. My computer is never turned off except during the time I'm at work. What's so amazing is that he's just as worried about me as I am of him. He has been injured already which makes me worry even more but it wasn't too bad because he was able to return back to duty within 3 days. When he first got to Kuwait I was able to talk to him daily and even when he first move into Baghdad we communicated a lot but these last couple of months he has been very busy and we haven't had much time to talk to each other. I know he's in the worst part of Baghdad but I suck it up and know that his unit and him are very well trained and that they will look out for each other. That is what's keeping me going. But there is never a day that goes by that I don't pray. The scary thought for me, and I have never told him this, is never getting the chance to have something more then this with him. I think about him not coming home at all and that scare me to death. Why is it, that you can meet the person of your dreams and for some reason it's an obstacles before you can come together? Oh well at least he knows he has a nice, faithful, understanding woman waiting for him back home. Well close to home. I honestly believe he's the love of my life.

what a different a day make

2004-10-01T23:05:00.000-04:00

I work, I listen, and I watch. This is my first post and l'm doing this just for fun. And believe me when I say I'm no good at writing or storytelling. So yes my grammar sucks and so do my spelling. But bear with me I just might say something that you might just want to hear. Or even you may learn something from me, who knows. I watched the debate last night, just like many other people. What did I learn....well nothing....well nothing new. I'm so grateful to have a computer because I knew exactly what was going on in the debate. Every topic that was discuss I knew it...Me, little old me knew it. I knew about the three treaties that Bush didn't sign..Oops I meant President Bush didn't sign, not just about the one he mention in the debate last night. I knew about the speech that Kerry made before he signed to give authority for the U.S to go to war with Iraq. I knew about the agreement we, the U.S, had with North Korea. I felt very educated before the debate and was able to follow both the candidates. So thinking back to all the times I have voted in a election, I know now that I was a follower. I followed my parents. I voted for the person they voted for. Even though I didn't make a decision on my own back then at least they taught me to vote. Now I'm much older and able to decide on my own what's best for my family. These times are different from when my parents grew up. They were at the time when people respected each other and cared about other people more then they cared about themselves. And it didn't take a national disaster before people came together. In their time you helped the people in need. It was important for me to see the debates and to get a greater understanding of the candidates. Now I understand why people are undecided and not know anything about the issues at hand. Just by watching a debate is not good enough. People really do need to be informed. President Bush is really good at making half statements but never completely finishing them. Let me give an example....He said he's not going to call any extra troops to deploy after the election.....No because he's calling them up now and they will be deployed by time the election....that's an half true statement. And people just don't know Kerry and what little they do know it's what they heard from Bush .....Flip Flopper, change his position on the war, he wants to rise taxes, he voted against the funding of the war etc.... Kerry did managed to come out last night and say his points and clearly show where he stands. But if you are an undecided voter that haven't done any research it's really easy for you to get confused. The confused people isn't doing enough to get educated on the issues at hand. To be honest this vote doesn't effect me with my job and I really don't think any of these two candidates could stop any kind of violence. This is my thought, that if someone wants to do a crazy suicide mission you just can't stop it. But this election is important to me because of my future generation and their well being. Will my children have jobs when they get out of school, will they be able to support themselves, and will they be able to live a good life. I believe in a higher power and if things are going to happen then they are going to happen you can't stop it. Everyone knows the expression you were at the right place at the right time or you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Or people just believe in this thing called LUCK. I never thought I was lucky I just think it just wasn't suppose to happen to me. So when I say it can't be prevented it just can't. Columbine-- could we have prevented that? Oklahoma--could we have prevented that? I don't think so. It only takes a second to make a decision to change a life or in that fact a country. I hope everyone take the time to read up on the issues and not just watch a debate or a commercial showing a sound bite. Please be inform when you vote.